Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
