Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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