I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
