so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
