The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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