The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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