why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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