I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
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i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
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This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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