lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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