I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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