The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize