how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There's always time for handjobs
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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