why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
