Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize