Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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