Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
