Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
