I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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