Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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