I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize