I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
