I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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