So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
