I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
