I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
