I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
