I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize