I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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