dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
