What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
