i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
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dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
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My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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