They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
