I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
This is the high leading the old right now
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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