So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm too high and old for this...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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