yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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