they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
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i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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