Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
