Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
