it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
