So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
