Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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