Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
