so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
