I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just pee around me
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Randomize
