They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
