At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
