It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just high enough for therapy.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
