how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Alive.
So much puke
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
