She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
