Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
