even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
