I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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