I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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