I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize