she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
