the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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