She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
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I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
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Im part way to drunk.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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