he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
