you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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