And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
