mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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