Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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