Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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