so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
