I smell stomach acid.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Drunk is not a location!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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