Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize